Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
