Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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