Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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