Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize