dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
