You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
