The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i out mim tonsoeep
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
