we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
