My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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