Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
