There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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