guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
