Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
