you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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