Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
