I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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