she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
