is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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