sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
