Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
