is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
