You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
