is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
