If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
