i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
