I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
