I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
