i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
