This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
