census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
