super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
