I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
only you would photoshop your dick
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
