i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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