Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
