I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize