Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
