i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
