So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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