remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
