Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
pray to the hookup gods
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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