Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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