PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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