just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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