But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
