i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
