just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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