I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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