so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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