My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
