Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
