no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
so much tequila, so little girl.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
