I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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