Just cropdusted the office
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
