Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
