they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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