do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize