I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize