He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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