She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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