bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
