Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
