Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
